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    September 07

    我,现在的我

      暑假结束了,全然没有以前踏进学校的愉悦心情.大概是经历太多次,有点麻木了,又或者别的?不想去证实!
      不管怎么样有一点是肯定的,从来就没有什么事是我想改变就能改变得了的。既然不能改变,那除了接受我想不到我还能做些什么。自从上大学以来我发现我懂了很多,特别是大二以后,那种变化是我可以看得见的。不知道是量变到质变的结果还是突然顿悟到的,很多事是很难说清楚。我发现我越来越了解自己了,对周遭发生的事物也越来越有自己的想法,这不知道是好还是不好。
      或许是大学的生活跟以前不大一样,有更多的时间去思考些什么,刚进学校那会儿发现的问题,可后来我才悟到,其实事情本身没有变,而是周围的环境变了,就像刚刚说的,有了时间去想些什么。而自己本身也更发现自己的优缺点,从前只是把优点无限放大,而对于缺点却能缩多小就多小,很多事情,特别是对我不好的事情无法面对,不愿去面对。而现在的我是坦然的,就算再发生些什么,我想我是有勇气的。
      而更让我欣喜的是,我终于明白我想要的是什么,不会再委曲求全的做些我不想做的事,很多事情已经放开。想想也觉得挺好笑的,原来不断想得到的东西,如今早已被我一脚踢开,不是为了别的什么,我只想做我喜欢做的事,过我愿意过的生活!
      做回小时候那个无忧无虑的我是不可能了。我也决不会是奋青,是整天只会大声的抱怨,看什么都不顺眼的可怜虫。我愿意做现在的我,对值得的人微笑!
       

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