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    April 01

    随笔

          最近,我处于一种很奇怪的状态——不断对自我进行着否定。是周期性的吗,还是有什么潜在的原因?是发生的事给我的感觉,还是别的什么?我真的真的不知道。只是。。。很不喜欢这样的状态!让我觉得不安。
         我一直是个有主见的人,可最近发现我原本认定的事情并非事实本身,好吧我承认我是没见过什么大市面。或许我原来就是这个状况的,只是自己没发现。从很早我就自以为是的以为我眼里是世界才是事实,可事实证明我是错的。现在才有那么丁丁点的小觉悟。朋友说是因为我没有怎么被人骗过才会这样,难道非要经历这种倒霉事我才能领悟吗?那我宁可不要知道。我原本以为自己思想成熟,以至于朋友们对我说“你太小孩儿”的时候,我那个不服气啊,还认真的要找人家理论一番。可见朋友们是有先见之明的,应该是吧。其实我不是一个只听得进好话的人,当一件事情出现异议,当然只有两种结果,要不我说服你,要么你说服我。有人说说服我事件有成就感的事。难道。。。
            哎。。。希望我的心早点明朗化。

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